Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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