Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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