im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
