this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize