This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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