babies were throwing up all over the place
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
