That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
