Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
