I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
