Kiss
Puke
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
