Whats the glycemic index on semen?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
