I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
