But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
last night I used snow as a chaser
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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