even my farts smell like vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Damn victory sex feels great
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
