I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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