i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize