Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
