tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
