thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
