im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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