sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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