wanna go halves on a baby?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
