If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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