I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
