Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
