i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
