You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
