so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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