i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
