my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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