New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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