just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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