she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
