There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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