Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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