Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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