The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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