He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize