Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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