So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize