You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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