saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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