we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
