I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
