I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize