Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
