...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
