just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
