i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
