Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
