The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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