I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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