He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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