I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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