I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
