I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
