girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
