i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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